Insults

I've decided that our language (English, since I am writing this in English and you are reading it in English) is too nice. Even when one makes a conscious effort to be rude, it's not nearly as antagonistic as it could be. And to be clear, it is entirely possible to have a language that does not do this and also doesn't make it difficult to be nice. It's not one or the other. If it were, then fine, I'd prefer a language that is always nice. But that's not the problem. To see what I mean, consider the sort of insults people typically use...

"Fuck you"
I see this one all the time and sometimes it isn't even directed at me, but at someone else. Usually me though (because I am a very horrible person). I've been seeing it forever (not actually forever, but shut up). And because of the context, I sort of assumed that it was a mean thing to say to someone. And then I found out what it actually meant! Well, I can think of lots of worse things to happen to a person than this. And by "I can" I mean that I do it regularly and enthusiastically.

"Fuck off"
You can tell from the way that this is used, it's not supposed to be pleasant. It's meant to be rude, curt, aggressive, antagonistic, bullying, or at least a sign of irritation. But it suffers from the same problem as "fuck you." Out of all the ways of telling a person to go away, this one should, logically, be considered a polite one.

Assorted genitalia
Specifically, there's, let's see, cock, dick, cunt, twat, pussy, and a whole lot of other ones that are more obscure or are typically reserved for actual body parts and not used to describe an entire person. But those five, at least, and possibly others, are primarily slang for body parts and are also used as insults for people. But if I wanted to insult someone by calling that person a body part, there would be a lot of better (or rather, worse) body parts to use. Most people like penises or vaginas or both to some extent. Maybe I'd rather be a brain or whatever, but what about a toenail?

Asshole
This is another body part one, but whereas a lot of people are quite fond of genitalia, I can see someone accepting that, but then claiming that in the hierarchy of body parts, "asshole" would be the very lowest. After all, what could be worse than a hole from which feces emerges? Well, a lot of things, actually. Have you ever seen what an asshole connects to? It's called the rectum and it's where feces is stored. It may exit through an asshole, but with the rectum it sits there. Or there's the colon, where the stuff is made in the first place. And really, all of these parts do an important job. It would be way worse to be, say, a stomach ulcer or a wart.

So at this point, you may be rightfully pointing out that we have other insults that are genuinely mean. Um, I've heard things like "eat shit and die" and "die in a fire." I certainly wouldn't want to do either of those! But these aren't used nearly as often for some reason. It's as though even when people want to show their contempt, they feel the need to be civil about it. Stop it, people. If you're going to be rude, then do it.